Painful Past
When I heard the last words he said, I suddenly felt a pain in my chest. Taki is his nephew. But why is he recognized as the father?
“Aloncious is the eldest among us siblings. He’s three years older than me. He’s the total opposite of me. He’s cheerful, always smiling, and gets along with everyone because of his good nature. My parents love him so much. He was my refuge whenever Luther and I used to fight as kids. He’s the kind of person who doesn’t take sides.”
Rozzean looked at me and cupped my face.Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.
“During the time when I started my own company, he was the only one who believed in me…”
I don’t like the look in his eyes right now. Full of pain, I can see the intense pain from the past that he still carries with him.
“At the beginning of my company, there were already many problems. My Dad got angry, he said I was being too arrogant and that I should have worked for his company for a few more years before starting my own.”
“He laughed at me and said my head had grown too big because of the praise I received from investors in his company. When RCV faced consecutive problems and was on the verge of closing, there was only one person who helped and encouraged me.”
“That was Aloncious.”
“My brother who was always at my back. He was the only one who never left me and believed that I could do it.”
Rozzean started to caress my face.
“Do you know? He designed this house. He also started planting the plants in my garden. He loved plants…”
My lips parted in surprise. So that’s why… that’s why he didn’t want anyone else in his garden because it held such value for him. It was one of the memories left by his late brother.
“Aloncious’ dream was to be an architect. But because Dad wanted him to inherit the company, Aloncious was forced to study business management and follow our father’s wishes,” he smiled at me and tucked the hair that fell on my face behind my ear, “This house is his first and last design, Tali…”
I bit my lower lip and took a deep breath. As I listened to him, it felt like I could also feel the pain in his heart right now. Rozzean… I can’t imagine the pain he went through when he found out about his brother.
“When my company started gaining investors, Aloncious was so happy. He quietly celebrated my success, he was so proud of the rise of my company. Our Dad even congratulated me, but in that moment, I could still sense the bitterness… maybe because he thought I was going to lose everything.”
“Luther was also there, but he just silently looked at me. He didn’t say a word. That night of celebration for the success of my company, I promised that I would dedicate my time to growing RCV. I wouldn’t let it sink or face any problems that Dad could use against me.”
“I became busy managing my company. I didn’t want to be embarrassed by Dad or be a burden to my brother Aloncious. I became a workaholic. All work.”
I remained silent, allowing him to share his story with me. But as I looked at his face, it felt like I was slapped several times.
Rozzean has been through a lot… he suffered a lot, and here I am still lying about my identity.
“When I heard that Aloncious was going to propose to his girlfriend, I immediately called him. I asked if there was anything I could do to support him. He just told me that everything was ready, and all he needed was for me to come and witness how happy he was. He knew how busy I was with work. They sometimes find it hard to invite me, even for a family dinner, because I want to finish everything I need to do in RCV.”
He smiled faintly.
“Aloncious knows how much I work.”
“That night at his engagement party, I was so happy. He had been in a ten-year relationship with his girlfriend, Annaliez. He told me that one of his dreams was to have a family with her. Before they got married, Anna was already pregnant. That’s when I saw a different kind of happiness in Aloncious’s face.”
“After they got married, Aloncious seemed to be the happiest person I’ve ever seen. After a few months of their marriage, we rarely saw each other because I was busy with work again. But even then, he never forgot to send messages to check on me. He would ask if we could have a drink. But I always declined because of the many things I needed to finish at RCV.”
“Until that horrible night happened for my brother. A night I never expected to happen in his life as a father.”
Rozzean paused for a moment, so I reached out and gently held his cheeks. I could tell he was trying to share what happened, taking his time.
“Anna died during childbirth. She safely delivered Taki, but Anna didn’t make it…”
Oh my god…
“I rushed to the hospital when I heard from Luther what happened. When I arrived at the hospital, I saw Aloncious kneeling in front of our parents. He was crying, begging them to tell the doctors to do everything. He said Anna was his life, that he couldn’t continue living without her.”
“I approached Aloncious at that moment. I hugged him. In all the years we’ve been siblings, I never saw Aloncious show any sign of weakness. It was the first time he knelt down and begged.”
“After Anna was buried, our parents took care of Taki. Aloncious changed. He didn’t visit Taki at our house because he stayed in their home with Anna and drowned himself in alcohol. He became different, became an alcoholic, and even neglected Dad’s company, which angered him. That was the time when Luther took over Larzon Inc. while I was busy with my own company.”
When Rozzean closed his eyes and took a deep breath, I became concerned. His heavy breathing indicated that he was about to share the most painful part of his past.
“One of my shortcomings as Aloncious’s sibling was that I didn’t ask how he was doing after everything happened. I didn’t check on him because I was so f*cking busy with my company. I didn’t pay attention to his condition because I was focused on enhancing my company’s image. I was entirely engrossed in maintaining RCV’s good image.”
“T-That was my biggest mistake, Tali…”
He’s trembling. Until now, he carries the weight of what happened back then. Oh God… I never thought I would see him like this. A vulnerable Rozzean.
“It was a Friday night, and I worked until ten because of the pile of tasks in my company. I didn’t realize that Luther and my mother had called me several times. When I opened my cellphone, I immediately read Luther’s message. His message hit me. H-He said I should go to St. Luke’s hospital. The last message said that Alocious tried to kill himself. Luther was the one who saw our brother.”
“I was so scared. My hands were shaking as I drove to the hospital. When I arrived, I immediately saw Dad. He was facing the wall, my mother was crying, and Luther had clenched fists.”
“When Dad saw me, he rushed at me and knelt before me. He was so mad. He looked at me with intense anger. H-He said Aloncious asked for me… that he was trying to call me.”
I wiped the tears that flowed from his eyes. We were both crying… I don’t know what to do… I want to ease the pain he’s feeling, but I don’t know how.
“I took out my cellphone from my wallet and checked the missed calls. That’s when I saw over twenty missed calls from Aloncious that I didn’t answer. Dad pushed me. I fell to the ground, looking at him with eyes full of rage. He said it was my fault if something bad happened to Aloncious. He said he would never forgive me.”
“When the doctor came out and explained what happened to my brother, I heard my mother scream. It was like I went deaf…”
“Dad pleaded, and I could hear Mama crying along with Luther’s continuous cursing.”
“Aloncious died that night, Tali…”
“I was so wrong…” Rozzean looked at me with tears streaming down his eyes.
“I opened my inbox and saw Aloncious’s messages. I cried while reading his last words for me. He said in the message that if I could come to his house to have a drink together. He wanted us to share a drink because it had been a long time since we did that,” Rozzean breathed heavily.
“When I read his last message, it was about Taki. He told me that he would be happy if I took care of Taki. If I would be recognized as his father. That was a hint that he was going to end his life that night…”
I was comforting him. I was stroking his hair and his cheek. This is so painful. Oh God…
“T-Tali… if I had read his message right away and gone to him, it wouldn’t have happened… Aloncious wouldn’t have died. It’s my fault…”
I shook my head at what he said.
“Shhh, don’t say that.”
“I didn’t know that my brother was suicidal that time because I know how tough he is. How positive he is. I didn’t know… I didn’t know…”
My lips quivered, and tears kept falling from my eyes. I hugged Rozzean, and he responded with an even tighter embrace while crying on my neck.
It hurts so much.
“He was there when I needed him… he was there, when no one believed in me. He was the only one who believed in me through everything… but when he needed me because of what happened in his life, I couldn’t even say hello. I was so fckng busy with my company that I forgot my brother was suffering.”
“So it’s my fault… my fault that he died.”
I shook my head repeatedly while holding him tightly.