Chapter 39: This is for the best.
Chapter 39: This is for the best.
"In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love you want the other person." ~ Margaret C. Anderson.
***
Raina Williams.
I was baking chocolate muffins for my babies, they were not here at the moment, they had gone on an excursion. I was glad something would take them off my thoughts about how their father has sorely abandoning them. I knew and saw how much it hurt them. It broke my heart watching them wait eagerly for their dad to call. He only called about four times and that was it.
There was a knock on the door, so I removed my pink apron and wiped off the remaining chocolate dough on my fingers. I tucked some of my hair behind my ear as I made my way to the door. It couldn't be the twins, Grayson wasn't going to pick them at this time. Knowing Gray he would probably stuff them with McDonald's before finally bringing them home. In other ways Gray was starting to act like a father figure to my kids, besides his sexuality. He was always helping out, picking them up when I couldn't, babysitting when Maya can't come around. They simply adore him as much as he adores them. Opening the door, only to reveal the last person I could have thought of... Angelo. He was dressed in casual clothing, his jet hair was wet...it seemed he was just coming from taking a shower. His green eyes swept all over my body from my toes until our eyes finally met. It made me feel uncomfortable. I wasn't mad at him, i was mad at myself for thinking someone who didn't even want kids in the first place would live up to his responsibilities as a father.
"Raina, hi." He said awkwardly running his long fingers through his wet hair. It seemed like only yesterday when he used the same fingers to pleasure me in all sorts of ways. His tongue grazed his bottom lip making me remember the erratic times we had been together in bed. The countless times he committed unforgettable damnation on my body.
"Uhm Angelo, hi." I murmured. He looked at me as if he was expecting a reaction out of me but I was tiredly worn out by always have to leap behind him like his lap dog. He knows he is a father and it wasn't my responsibility to always remind him what he needed to do and not do.
"Is-" before he could reply, I shook my head. "No they are out on a school trip, they should be back in about three hours." I curtly replied opening the door wider so he could come in. I heard him gently close the door as I went to check on the oven when I was done, i didn't realise he was behind me. We touched and the countless fireworks just seemed to shoot through out my body and I knew I wasn't the only one. I had come to discover these sparks were purely lust nothing more but goodness I could never get used to them.
"Uhm do you want anything to drink ?" I offered.
"Uh no, I won't be staying for that long." He replied trying to reach my eyes but I looked away.
"We need to talk, Raina." He summoned. "I know." I replied leading us towards the kitchen stools. Once we were both comfortably sat, he cleared his throat.
"Uhm Angelo-" We spoke at the same time. "You go first." He said calmly.
"Okay." What I was about to say was hard and maybe my own kids will hate me for it one day but I knew it was the right thing to do. I wasn't going to allow them to be second choice rather they not be even be considered. I knew one day it would come to this but I didn't know it would be this day. After winning the case for Derrick Collins yesterday, i knew it was my big break. I was well known, i had put my mark as a female lawyer who kicks ass no matter how hard it maybe. Los Angeles had been great, i had loads of memories here but-
"Angelo, Derrick Collins offered me an official position as his lawyer and he wants to help me start my own law firm." I paused for a moment. Angelo gave me a broad smile and I did the same. "That's great
Lola." My breath almost hitched when he called me that again. "I mean Raina." He quickly corrected clearly his throat. I noticed the small stubble on his chin, it made him look even more sexy.
"In New York." I finished my sentence, his features immediately changed to a disapproving look.
"But-" He was quick to protest.
"Angelo, when you told me to go and abort the twins, i told myself that I wouldn't and I would take care of them by myself. I took that chance even if being a single mother was the risk. When you came back that was okay too but I still told myself I would do what was best for them. Maybe having a father was best for them or maybe i was wrong, they didn't need a father." I paused.
"Raina, where is this going ?" He seemed hurt as he asked this but I had to continue.
"Angelo, don't you ever think about what would have happened if you didn't return ? if my mom didn't call you. You would be living your perfect life without any problems. You would be free from me and my kids and trust me I wouldn't mind. You have a lot of responsibilities right now such as your upcoming wedding and ... your baby..." I whispered the last part.
"Who told you that ?" He asked in disbelief. "I mean I was going to tell you, Raina."
"That's none of my businesses, congratulations by the way.-" He cut me off.
"Raina it's-" i gave him a brief smile before interrupting him.
"It's okay really. As I was saying, you have a lot of responsibilities right now and with the baby coming trust me they will be much more and your wife will need you more." He looked at me with pure distaste at the mention of wife.
"Raising a child, especially a new born isn't easy and it's a full time job, you won't have time for my kids. I totally understand. What am saying is... I just don't ever want to see my kids disappointed the
way they were when you didn't show up for Ashton's first game and when you promised to take them out. I know and I get that you had alot on your plate so I won't bug you about it. It's all about priorities and I know my kids won't be on top of that list so I would rather hurt them now by cutting you off for good than for them to keep getting their hopes up and getting disappointed." I let out a sigh. Angelo looked hurt, his eyes had turned a shade darker.
"I'm moving to New York, I'm starting over. I need to, spare me the drama. I know Yasmine doesn't like my kids and she will treat them like crap when her child is now here so just let me go..." I didn't realise a tear had escaped from my left eye so I quickly wiped it off.
"Angelo we were not meant to be, it's like we are water and oil. We just don't mix. You love Yasmine and I'm perfectly aware that she will need you more than the twins will. She makes you happy and who am I to burden you with own demands. You didn't want children in the first place so this was my fault and I have to deal with it." I quickly wiped another tear.
"Raina, it's not like you made yourself pregnant." Angelo wiped another tear on my cheek with his thumb. "Well technically it's my fault for being a slut and sleeping with you every given moment." I snirveled.
"Don't cry Raina." Angelo whispered his voice becoming deeper.
"Trust me, i don't want to but I can't help it." Angelo stood up and pulled me into his arms rubbing circles on my back as I cried on his shoulder. After I felt much better I pulled away.
"The twins are still young, they can forget about you and-"
"Raina, you can't just make me forget that I have kids and live a perfect life here without them." He ran his hand through his damp hair.
"I know but you could always send them birthday presents and gifts whatever." I suggested.
"I want to be there on those birthdays and hand them those gifts myself. I want to be there on every moment of their lives." He said with a solemn expression.
"You can always visit when you have time, i won't stop you. Once or twice a year." I suggested.
"Raina, New York is miles away. Are you sure about this ?" He looked at me directly in my eyes.
"New York is closer to Ohio where I can always visit my parents and my brother lives in New York. I will have a job there and it won't be so bad. I just need to get away from all this. I'm tired of feeling like I always ruin everything." I sighed. "You deserve to be happy like anyone else and I know you haven't had that ever since I appeared in your life and I'm sorry." Another tear seeped down my cheek.
"Raina, you have no idea how happy I have been-" i cut him off.
"With Yasmine, i know i know." I wiped another tear my eyes were becoming puffy.
"No-" He grunted.
"Angelo, i spoke to your parents and they are aware of the decision that I have taken. They also think you and I need space from each other." I added, i quickly ran to the oven and switched it off. Gladly the muffins looked good and had no burned.
I turned to look at him, he seemed to be in deep thought. "My parents don't know anything about what has been going on between you and I for the past seven years." He sighed and took long steps towards me.
"They do." I murmured.
"They don't." He groaned. "They weren't the one's who I kissed through out most of my nights. The girl that kept me awake all night and i unable to focus on work the very next day. The girl that made smiling seem easy, the girl that-" i cut him off immediately, here we go again. HE WAS LYING.
"Angelo stop." I laughed sardonically.
"You know damn well that I haven't brought you any rainbows and butterflies except when you cum." I said cheerlessly.
"We both know, i was good for one thing and that was sex." I deadpanned. He remained silent, it seemed I was the one who had hurt him but no he had broken me into a million pieces.
"When will you be leaving ?" He asked.
"A week from here." I replied.
"A month before the twins turn six, couldn't you wait so I could atleast be there on their sixth birthday for the last time." He suggested. The room was tense, everything between us was tense.
"I can't Angelo, i feel suffocated. I need to get out of here. Los Angeles has only bad memories that haunt me on a daily basis."
"I-" before he could say anything else his phone starting ringing. He answered quickly and I wasn't surprised to find out that it was his soon to be wife.
"Raina I need to go." He said with haste.
"It's okay like I said she needs you more. Good bye Angelo." I gave him a brief smile.
"Don't make it sound like forever, i will visit the twins every chance I get." He smiled back.
"I know, now go go go...you know how pregnant women get." I shooed him to the door.
" I would have loved to know how you acted when you where carrying my kids." He chuckled lightly and the atmosphere changed.
"Just go Angelo." I pressed my lips into a thin line.
"It's harder than you think." His eyes seemed blurry with tears. His phone started ringing again and I gave him a knowing look. He did what I didn't expect, he pressed his lips onto mine.
I didn't respond at first but it felt like home, those sparks just seemed to find their way back. I kissed him back with emergence. His phone vibrated again and I pushed him out the door closing the door behind me. I sat on the floor and cried trying to convince myself... Ccontent © exclusive by Nô/vel(D)ra/ma.Org.
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
this is for the best
-