CEO’s REDEMPTION

THE GUILT

JEROL’S POV

Gently, I lay my beautiful wife on the bed and tuck myself beside her, her beautiful face smiling at me like always.

A smile, is all I see on this beautiful face even when she is not in actuality smiling. I see her and all I can see is beauty in all senses, and a peace that I never knew existed.

I have dated countless girls from this so-called rich circle, beautiful and affluent girls whom I thought had it all intact- respect, dignity, and sense. But I was so sick wrong! This whores know nothing but to be dictators and controlling. They want everything done their way and they don’t bend their rules for anything. It sucks!

It really sucked all those times I had to leave work to accompany some damn girl to a mall where you will spend the entire day going round and round the mall. Then the countless dinners at luxurious five-star hotels which happens almost every day. I am not complaining about money because none of that will put even a needle size hole into my bank balances, but time and understanding, are my issues.

Those types of social circle filthy women suck, and I had actually decided to call it quit, but that was until I met her – Ellie. She wasn’t perfect, but at least she was a bit distinct in a way. She wasn’t too burdensome. She was always contented with the little time I spared for her from my busy schedule. She never complained much. The shopping and dinners were at minimal. I explained my situation and she was all okay. She said she loved me just the way I was, and I started falling hard than I could tell.

We made dreams. We made plans. Beautiful plans, I would say. Plans that she agreed to and even rejoiced with me. She was even over the clouds with my idea of us getting pregnant before marriage. Well, I was so sure about her and what I wanted, and she did not have objection whatsoever.

I can’t rationalize the exhilaration and the contentment I felt when she brought the results from the hospital that she was pregnant. My dream that had almost seemed invalid became valid in a snap, and with the woman I loved. For that sole reason, the fact that the was carrying my heir, I loved her even more. I saw her as my world, and I gave my all to her. Anything I could afford. My little time from work was spent by her side most of the time as we lay our plans for the future. I promised her heaven, and I would have ripped it off from the heavenly bodies if I could. All for her.

But everything came crumbling down like a flaming hellfire that one cursed day. It was not even about her blames on me. It was the way I felt so impetuous. Worthless. A total failure. It was the way she spoke to me that day – with scorn, insolence, and something else I couldn’t decipher. That day, I did not feel like the man she loved even just once, and for the first time that day, while she howled all her affronts and laid all the blames on me, my mind flashed back to that day I walked on her and my brother.

We were still so young in the relationship, about five months or so. I had not introduced her to anyone, but I found her in the company of my brother. How she was giggling freely, and how my brother’s arm hugged her waist was all so unsettling to me. I had to confront them, especially because I knew how much my brother was obsessed with taking everything that I had. It’s the case even now.

My Ellie might have been innocent, but I knew my brother would not mind even sleeping with my woman in front of me just to prove a point, a pointless point, in my sense. I am not responsible for him being a vagabond jerkass, but he still sees me faulty. All the same, they denied it all. Ellie even got so furious with me saying that I was disrespectful to her to think that she would have an affair with my own brother.

“We just bumped into each other there and when I learnt he was your brother, I thought it was nice to know him. Is that so wrong?” Those were her words. Lieying whore!

Tears were even streaming down for how harsh she felt I was to her. And I thought, my brother might be evil and all, but my Ellie would never do what I am accusing her of. I let it go. When she refused to speak to me for two days after that argument, I went crawling to her on my knees. I begged her like a thirsty cat begging for milk. Or like a child begging for candy. That is how much I loved her.

Then shit happened! That day she supposedly lost my baby!

I did not chase after her that day after she was done pouring all her insults on me. I let her go, thinking that my Ellie was probably furious and emotional about losing our child. That she needed to cool off. I personally could not come to terms with the fact that the only child I probably would ever have was now gone. I was not there for her when she needed me, and that point wrecked all my sanity. I was responsible for our loss.

Three days later, there was no sight of my Ellie. No news about her, no calls or texts from her, no nothing. I started looking for her like crazy, but unbelievably, I could not find her anywhere.

“She just lost a child three days ago. She is not well. Where could she have gone to?” I thought, convincing myself that my Ellie was just somewhere close by. She loved me. I had messed up, yes, we had lost our child, yes, but her love for me was still there, right?

But all my efforts to find her all hit a hard rock. The air had swallowed her, leaving not even a single trace for me. I felt my world being ripped off from me. The ground I used to walk on shook with temblors of the hopeless lonesome nobody I had just become. I had not only lost my child, but my love too, the only person I thought loved me despite my flaws. I felt a sharp threat to my sanity cutting through my fresh.

I was losing it. Nothing felt okay or important to me anymore. All I could think of was bringing my Ellie back. She was the senator’s daughter, so if anything bad had happened to her, the news would have been all over. But the world was so mute about her whereabouts as if it didn’t see nor hearken to my grief. The only thing her father said to me was that her daughter needed space.

I could have given her that, only if she had asked. But she did not. She shut me up like I meant nothing.

I grew more forlorn, and confused, and lost in what to do to get her back. Slowly, I knew I was losing it. Even when I made a deal to purchase myself a wife to lure my girlfriend back, I knew I was not myself. That was not me. My sanity and peace were under siege by what had happened and what I would become. I didn’t want to believe that I was actually losing myself over that. I was Jerol O’Brian McCall, the owner of the top Fuel and gas company in the whole country. I was strong. Imperturbable. The real Alphamale! I could handle everything perfectly like I handled my company.

But I was damn wrong! Running a company and matters of the heart are two incomparable things.

The idea of being a filthy billionaire with no heir to continue my legacy when I am gone was taking a toll on me with every passing second. Even my own empire meant nothing now. Depression slapped me like a clueless vagabond. And I sunk to the rock bottom. Almost drowned!

But here came my angel. My savior. My beautiful Tessa. My purchased wife unbelievably turned out to be my savior. I had almost given up on myself, but there was no giving up on me for her. No matter how much I pushed her away, no matter how many times I loudly howled at her to stay away, despite the kind of a vicious beast I had turned into, she never left. She took care of me even when she had no reason to. Our contract was simple – she just needed to be there like a shadow, and do absolutely nothing. But she did everything. Even the unthinkable. For me.

And that day she almost got fed up with my behaviour, when I saw her walking out of the gym, I felt a sharp pain piercing through the heart that I thought had died months prior. I could not bear the thought of her walking out of my life. I knew then that I needed her.

And from then on, she became my basic need. Someone I can’t live without. I revamped all for her. I let all go just for her. I wanted to prove all her endeavors and care for me were worthwhile. I wanted to be the best man for her.

And before I knew it, I was envisioning her differently. I saw the beauty of my life in her, and with her. She turned out to be my joy. The missing piece that I needed to be complete, and I have embraced it so tight, with no intents of letting her go for anything.

My sole goal is to make her the happiest woman on earth and be the best thing that happened to her, just like she is to me. I want her to always be proud of me.

But then, these two fucked fools had to reappear from nowhere and stroke my beast again. I can’t believe they have such hard balls to show their fucked up faces to me again after what they did. That Ellie is the world’s most shameless whore in the world, I swear. How dare she show up to me again? She better make sure it’s my baby she is carrying because then, maybe, just maybe, I will have a reason to look at her disgusting face. If not, only God knows what all the remorse and disgust I am feeling towards her will do to her. She is suffocating me as it is!

Same with this bastard I call my elder brother. He should be grateful to my wife because I cant tell what would have become of him if she did not stop me.

But God knows what kind of a shameless jerk I feel right now. I failed her. I feel so dirty to even look at her or touch her. If she didn’t lean to me earlier at the hospital, I swear I would have not have touched her. I am ashamed of what she thinks of me after seeing me that way.Content from NôvelDr(a)ma.Org.

She has restored everything that life had snatched from me, including my hopes of being a father. I am over the moon with her presence in my life. She is a buddle of my joy and contentment. She is basically my everything. I don’t regret beating that shit brother like that. I am also happy that she arrived just in time to prevent me from doing something worse. But I hate it that she saw me that way. I can’t stand the thought of her hating me. I can not stand making her angry which I know I did today. I failed her, and I hurt her feelings by walking away. It was the only thing that I could think of. To take my animalistic self out of her presence.

What does she think of me now? How will her beautiful eyes look at me in the morning, huh? Will there be tinges of hate?

~~~END OF JEROL’S POV~~