Crash Into Me

They held it together as best they can. Two weeks gone by like a blink of an eye. Neither one of them was their usual happy self. He held her hand everywhere they went, and kissed it every now and again. Those who knew him can see how terrified he was as the last day of shooting was approaching.

The team had arranged a big farewell party at a fancy beach club. They were supposed to fly out the next day. They’d even arranged some staff to pack up all John’s stuff at the cottage so he didn’t have to.

She dressed up for the occasion, he held his breath when he saw her. His fans cheered and asked for pictures. Camera flashed everywhere. The scene was distasteful for Sandy, she was about to go through one of the hardest nights in her life. The music was loud, happy faces all around. They were glad for a job well done, and she was about to drop herself in the mix and poison them with her gloom.

“I can’t do this, John,” he tugged his jacket.

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“I can’t go through with this, you go ahead and celebrate … I’ll wait for you in the cottage,” she said.

John pulled her back, “Wait, no, Sandy … it’s our last night together, please stay,” he begged her.

She paused for a minute, listened to her surroundings, at the same time, she heard what her heart was telling her. “I’m sorry, John, I don’t think I can do it … I’ll wait for you in the cottage.” She kissed him and left.

Sonya saw her as she left, she was waiting for John to enter the venue. “She’s not coming?”

John was signing autographs, he couldn’t even put a smile on his face. “Nope,” he answered.

Sonya asked the bodyguard to escort John inside and kept his fans at bay. All the crew was sensitive to his situation, they sensed his dark mood, far from his usual calm and collected manner. They were supportive of the relationship, they’ve grown to know Sandy and they really liked her. She brought out the best in John.

John was asked to deliver a speech to wrap up their 6 month production. He thanked everyone for a great job. Everyone can see how distracted he was, and they felt bad that he had to go through with it faking a smile on his face. He loved his job, but this was the first time they saw there’s something else he loved equally. The soonest he went down from the stage, the director pulled him away and told him to go where he needed to go. So he did.

**********

When she arrived at the compound, she went straight to John’s cottage. His suitcases were packed and organized by the foyer. The place was cleaned from any traces of him. They left nothing on the coffee table, dining table, anywhere. It was as if he was never there except for the suitcases and a faint scent of his cologne. Something died inside her, she had to hold it together. She went upstairs to the main bathroom, his personal belongings were all packed and ready to go.

She opened the glass door to the balcony to get the night air in. She took candles from the storage and lit them up in the bedroom and turned off the lights. She wanted their last night together to be special. She’d been telling herself since morning to hold back her tears, she’ll have plenty of time to cry, but not that night.

When she walked out of the bedroom, John was already standing in the hallway. “John? You’re back early?” she was startled. She forced a smile, “They’ve packed up all your stuff,” her voice trembled.

He just stood there with an empty stare. The tall, dark and handsome actor that had swept her off of her feet, sleeked in his suits and tie. This man had managed to made her heart skip a beat every time she looked at him.

“Sandy …” he called her softly and walked over to her. He wrapped his arms around her, kissed her forehead, “I love you,” he said.

She closed her eyes and took it all in. His words wrapped around her soul like a warm blanket. “I love you, John,” she said softly and opened her eyes to meet his gaze.

He kissed her passionately, swept her off her feet, literally. They entered the bedroom, no words needed to be said. He knew the minute he saw her in that black dress, he was going to take it off her. His firm hands ran over her skin as he slid down the dress and caressed her with the back of his hand.

She tasted sweet in his mouth and it hurt. ‘The last time’ It echoed in their minds as it tried to figure out how to enjoy this knowing it was going to be the last. His grip was stronger that night, his pushes harder, his kisses engulfed her breaths. He was angry, and sad, confused, in love, everything fused in the way he made love to her.

He didn’t want it to end, he didn’t want it to be the last time. He knew her body like the back of his hand, and he knew she felt him like it was meant to last forever. She was his, they have found each other for a reason but the reason was dissolved in the harsh reality that they had to be apart once again.

It stopped him for a brief moment, he buried his face in the curve of her neck, he closed his eyes. She brushed his hair with her fingers and kissed his cheek, “It’s’ okay … we can do this,” she whispered in his ear. He took a deep breath, he had to fight it. His eyes darkened when he emerged. She couldn’t decipher the look on his face. Whatever he was feeling, it was the source of his incredible endurance that night.

When he finally came, he fell on the bed next to her, face down, panting, and heart broken. They curled up with each other in silence, there were too many things to say that can only be spoken through their touches. They kissed until they fell asleep in each other’s arms.