Ex-Husband's Regret



I stare at him for a while. I then take off my gloves.

"Now, what are you doing?" He seemed amused by my actions.

"Well, you are my teacher, if you think it's better to use my bare hands, then that is what I will do."

I follow what he's doing and mix the soil together. I don't know whether it's just having the soil in my bare hand, or it's having him next to me, or both, but a certain peace settles over me. I feel light and airy as if I am on cloud nine.

My worries disappear as Gunner teaches me about gardening. No wonder both he and Ava love this so much. It's so relaxing, and I weirdly feel connected to the earth.

"Thank you for the gift," Gunner says, pulling my focus to him.

I'd decided that I would give him a birthday and Christmas gift for every year I missed. A few days ago, I got him one. I didn't know what to get him, but a shop attendant told me I should get him an electric water gun. He called it Mongu Kublai S-two. He demonstrated how it works for me. It looked cool. It's something Travis, Rowan, and Gabe would have loved to have when they were kids.

"I hope you liked it."

He smiles, reminding me so much of Calvin. "Definitely! It's so cool. I can't wait to show Noah. Maybe his parents can get him one, and we could shoot at each other."

"I'm glad you like it, Gunner." The happiness that fills my heart knowing that he loves my gift is imaginable. I was so worried that he wouldn't love it.

I pat the soil after planting the flower seed.

"No, don't do that," Gunner stops me, pulling my hand away.

"Why?"

"It will sound stupid, but I believe that the plant will struggle to find its way up."

I know that's not the case, but he's so cute.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

I smile "It's not stupid, and if that's what you believe, then I won't do that."

I wanted to shout for the whole world to hear. To be able to spend some time with Gunner is a dream come true. My smile broadens. Ava probably knew what she was doing when she suggested I start gardening. She knew Gunner loved it and probably hoped it would bring us together.

To be honest, I don't know if I would have enjoyed this as much if it weren't for Gunner. "Shoot," Gunner quickly stands up. "Looks like Rex has escaped home once again." It's then I hear the dog's bark.

"I can go and fetch him." I also get up and suggest.

"Thank you, but no. He doesn't know you and he isn't used to you. He won't agree to come with you."

Before I could respond to let him know that we could get him together, he rushed out of the yard. He's fast as he rushes towards the street. I followed behind him.

Remember when I said I got that weird feeling? Well, I thought I'd calmed it down, but I was wrong. It starts intensifying as I rush after him.

"Rex," he calls.

The dog that had been peeing on a neighbor's bush across from us is startled, and so it starts to run away. I was just behind Gunner when he started crossing the road. He was so focused on Rex that he didn't see the car that was coming our way. The driver was looking at his phone. He didn't notice a kid was crossing the road. Besides that, with the current speed, he was going above the speed limit for this area.

The speeding car was just inches away. I didn't think. I sped up my pace before pushing Gunner from behind. He fell, his knees hitting the pavement, but he was safe and out of the car's path. My relief was short-lived as pain like no other radiated throughout my body. The last thing I heard was the screeching of tires and Gunner screaming my name. Coldness filled my body. As darkness consumed me, I couldn't help but think that even if I didn't make it, at least I got to spend a few hours with Gunner, because that is all I ever asked for and wanted.