Chapter 248
Chapter 248
“It is?”
“You know it is.”
“Why am I being forthcoming? I can’t say. Seeing you practically dead on the cold concrete, maybe.” I
flinch, remembering Ana on the ground outside that derelict warehouse where Hyde was holding my
sister. It’s traumatic so I turn my thoughts in a happier direction, to Junior. “The fact I’m going to be a
father. I don’t know. You said you wanted to know, and I don’t want Elena to come between us. She
can’t. She’s the past, and I’ve said that to you so many times.”
“If she hadn’t made a pass at you, would you still be friends?” Ana asks.
“That’s more than one question.”
“Sorry. You don’t have to tell me.” She blushes, and it’s good to see some color in her cheeks. “You’ve
already volunteered more than I ever thought you would.”
“No, I don’t think so, but she’s felt like unfinished business since my birthday. She stepped over the
line, and I’m done. Please, believe me. I’m not going to see her again. You said she’s a hard limit for
you. That’s a term I understand.”
Ana smiles. “Good night, Christian. Thank you for the enlightening bedtime story.” She leans over and
touches her lips to mine, her tongue teasing me. My body ignites, and I pull away.
“Don’t. I am desperate to make love to you,” I whisper through my desire.
“Then do.”
“No, you need to rest, and it’s late. Go to sleep.” I switch off the bedside light and we’re surrounded by
the darkness.
“I love you unconditionally, Christian,” Ana whispers, as she snuggles up to me.
“I know,” I whisper, bathing in her light.
You…and my parents.
Unconditionally.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
It’s almost midnight. Apart from some exercise, I’ve enjoyed a quiet day with my wife; our only
excursion has been to see Ray, who is definitely on the mend. Other than that, I’ve insisted that Ana
stay in bed and rest. She’s acquiesced but has been reading a couple of manuscripts, and no amount
of cajoling on my part could persuade her otherwise.
Mrs. Jones has returned from her sister’s, and this evening she prepared a hearty three-course meal
for the two of us. She seems as anxious for Ana’s well-being as I am.
Ana fell asleep just after ten.
I’ve caught up on work, and now I’m poring over the notes that Mrs. Collier wrote to my mother and
father while I was in her care. She has a neat and tidy hand, and her words spark small reminiscences
that cast light into the dark corners of my memory.
Kristian won’t let me wash him, but he does know how to wash himself. It has taken two baths to get
him clean and I’ve had to teach him how to wash his hair. He will not tolerate us touching him at all.
Kristian had a better day today. He still refuses to talk. We don’t know if he can or if he’s unable. He
has a temper, though. The other kids are quite scared of him.
Kristian still doesn’t let any of us touch him. He has a meltdown if we do.
Kristian is hungry. He has a huge appetite for such a skinny little kid. His favorites are pasta and ice
cream.
Our daughter, Phoebe, has taken a shine to Kristian. She dotes on him, and he’s tolerating her Content is © 2024 NôvelDrama.Org.
attention. She sits and draws with him. I don’t think he’s had a great deal of experience drawing.
Where Phoebe goes, Kristian will follow.
Today Kristian had a meltdown. He does not like to be parted from his blanket. But it’s filthy. I let him sit
and watch it in the washing machine. This seemed to be the only thing that calmed him down.
The memories flare and flicker to the surface in fits and starts, but it’s the feeling of being overwhelmed
that resonates most with me. I was in a strange place, with a strange family—it must have been horribly
bewildering. No wonder I chose to forget that time. But, having read through the notes, I know I didn’t
come to any harm there and I do remember Phoebe. She would sing to me. Silly songs. She was kind
and especially sweet to me.
I’m grateful that my parents kept these letters. They remind me just how far removed I am from that
frightened little boy. I am not him anymore. He no longer exists.
I contemplate sharing these with Ana, then remember her reaction to the photographs. Her sorrow as
she gazed at that starved, neglected child. And they’d remind of her that asshole Hyde…and how much
he and I have in common.
To hell with that.
She’s had enough to contend with over the last few days.
I tuck the letters, drawings, and the photographs into a manilla folder marked KRISTIAN and file them
safely away in my filing cabinet for another day. Maybe when she’s fully recovered. Besides, I need to
talk this through with Flynn, and I should do that before I share them with Ana. She’s my wife, not my
therapist.
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