Shattered Souls (Guardians of the Maiden Book 3)

The rays of the early sun peeked through the edges of the curtains, casting Von’s room in low light. He held Yavi in his arms, silently observing her every feature. She slept naked besides him, warm under the several layers of blankets with her head resting on his chest. It almost didn’t feel real to have her like this. Instinctively, his arms tightened around her.

He knew returning to Tarn meant death, but on his journey he had prayed for another day with Yavi, and it was granted. He thought of Elon and how he had prayed for the same with his wife. The thought tightened Von’s chest. He couldn’t let anything happen to Yavi. Even if it was the last thing he did before he died, he had to get her somewhere safe.

Yavi mumbled sleepily as she woke. She turned her head up to him and smiled hazily but it faded when she saw his pained expression. “What is it?”

He kissed her forehead, keeping his lips there, “I don’t want to leave this room or this bed. I wish I could be here with you forever, but it’s not possible. Today is the day you need to escape.”

She sat up on the bed, alarmed. “What?”

Von sat up as well. He looked down at his calloused hands, blood and grime caught under his fingernails. “I didn’t wish to say it last night, but I wasn’t able to retrieve the Scroll. We were confronted at the temple ruins, and we were not prepared. Our opponent was only one man, yet he killed them all—Novo, Bouvier, and…” He couldn’t bring himself to say Elon’s name. “I had to watch them die.”

“Oh, love,” Yavi hugged him. She knew how much it affected him when his raiders died. Each death weighed on him like a boulder of guilt.

Von laid his forehead against hers. “Yavi, I’m out of pardons. Tarn is going to kill me for my failure.” He felt her tears spill onto his cheeks, “When I’m gone I won’t be able to protect you anymore. But I can die in peace knowing you escaped his grasp.”

“Where am I to go?” she asked, her lip wobbling.

“I think Hallow’s Nest would be a good place to hide for a while before you can take a ship to Dwarf Shoe and return home.”

“Hallow’s Nest?”

“It’s a quiet little town in the north.” Von smiled at her faintly. “I saw Dyna there.”

“What?” Yavi gasped.

“She’s alive. Her sorceress was able to undo the spell Clayton put her under. And her cousin that I thought I killed also survived. They are out there, love. The prophecy remains in play. Tarn can still be stopped.”

Yavi closed her eyes briefly and tears rolled down her cheeks. “She’s alive.”

“Yes.”

“Why did you come back?” Yavi cried. “You should have run while you had the chance.”

Von held her face. “I had to see you one more time. I console myself with knowing there is hope for this world after all. My only regret is not being able to have a family with you and build a you house in the country.”

Yavi looked into his eyes with anguish. “Von…I have to tell you something.”

He brushed her lips with his thumb. “What is it?”

“I have one last thing I must give you before you leave me.”

He smiled. “Again? I would die a happy man.” They’d made love three times before they passed out, but he could go again. Von aimed for a kiss but she dodged him.

“Von, you’re not listening.”

He finally heard her urgency and straightened. “What is it?”

Yavi sighed. “Please try not to overreact.”

“About what?” At her long silence and fear, he grew anxious. “Yavi?”

She removed the blankets around her and got off the bed to stand before him. Von admired her naked body. Her wedding band hung on a chain between her full breasts; they were larger than normal but he wasn’t going to complain about that. Then his eyes then fell on the small mound of her belly. A light brown line ran over it vertically from top to bottom. Yavi took his hand and placed it there.

Tears gathered on her lashes. “I’m with child.”

A stark stillness fell over him.

His wide eyes burned as he stared at her belly. He was absolutely still but his heart raced with panic. Whatever joy he should have felt was immediately drowned out by fear before it could surface.

Von scrambled to his feet and stumbled with the sheets tangled around his legs. He shook his head in denial and looked around the room wildly. He quickly pulled on his dirty pants and shirt left on the floor. Then he ran to the cabinet and started throwing her clothes in a bag.

“What are you doing?” Yavi asked him. “Von?”

“I need to get you out of here,” he hissed. “How far along are you?”

Yavi lowered her head. “Four moons.”

He gaped at her in angry shock. “What?”

She kept it from him for four months! But she had been showing signs—the lack of eating, feeling sick, enlarged breasts and hips—he had been so stupid to not notice it before. Yavi saw the resentment in his eyes and tried to take his arm. He freed himself and continued packing.

“Von speak to me,” she pleaded.

“Why did you keep this from me?” he snapped.

“Because I was afraid!”

“You should be afraid, Yavi. Tarn will have your head.” He shoved more clothes in the bag.

“I wasn’t afraid of him. I was afraid of you…”

Von stopped.

She backed away, breaking into a sob. This wasn’t the reaction she had wanted. Expecting a child should have been good news.

“I’m sorry.” Von dropped the bag and lifted Yavi in his arms, carrying her back to the bed. She continued to cry in the pillows. Von gathered her in his arms and covered them in the blanket again. “Shhhh…” he told her, rubbing her back. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’ve been a downright fool. If I had given you the proper care and attention, I would have noticed you were pregnant.”

“Are you not happy?” she asked in a wobbly voice.

He sighed. “Oh, love, I am. But I wish this didn’t happen now. It puts you in so much danger. I’m terrified for you now more than ever because I won’t be alive to protect you. As soon as I’m called to Tarn’s room, you need to escape. Novo had saved fifty thousand gold pounds before he died. It’s in my pack. Take it and go.”

She scowled. “No.”

“You have to.” Von’s hand came to rest over the softness of her belly. “You have someone else to live for now. For our child’s sake, you need to escape.”

“Verik.” Yavi’s lip wobbled and she laid her hand over his. “I’m going to name him Verik.”

“It’s a boy?” A twinge ripped in his chest to know he will never see his child grow. A knock came at the door, and they held their breaths.

“Commander Von, I’m sorry to disturb you,” came Olsson’s voice on the other side. “The Master will see you now.”

Yavi began to cry softly and buried her face in Von’s chest.

“Thank you, Lieutenant,” he called. “I’ll be right out.”

Olsson’s footsteps receded and a nearby door closed.

Von wrapped Yavi tighter in his hold. “Don’t cry. You need to be strong now.”

“No.” She tightened her arms around him when he tried to rise out of bed. “Please don’t leave me.”

His vision blurred at her plea. “Yavi.” Von closed his eyes. “Our son needs you now. As soon as I’m gone you need to run.”

“I can’t!”

“Yes you can.” He took her face. “You have to.”

Von kissed her passionately, memorizing her lips and body. She pressed herself against him, holding on to him tightly.

“I love you, Yavi,” he said against her mouth, pain tightening his features. “More than anything. You must run while Tarn is distracted dealing with me. Don’t let me die in vain.”

Von pulled her arms off him and quickly stepped back. His wife sobbed on the bed, covering her face with her hands. He left the room and gently closed the door behind him. He stood in the hallway, fighting back tears as he heard her soft cries.

Composing himself with a shaky breath, he entered Tarn’s room and stood at attention with his arms behind his back.

His master sat in the same chair as last night, staring into the flames of the fireplace. Von would have thought he didn’t move if not for the slight changes in his dark clothing. The morning sunlight shone in the room, catching on the irises of Tarn’s pale eyes.

But his bed was empty. Where was Len now?

Olsson nodded to him respectfully where he stood by Tarn. “Commander Von.”

He nodded in return. “Lieutenant.”

Tarn glanced at Von and frowned with annoyance at his appearance. “This is how you present yourself to me? Go shave and change into your uniform. We have much to discuss. Meet me in the restaurant downstairs.”

Tarn stood and walked out of the room.

Olsson followed him and gave Von a smile. “Welcome back, Commander. The men will be glad to know you have returned.”

Von watched them go, wholly bewildered. He had mentally prepared himself for death and now that it hadn’t come, he couldn’t make sense of it. Slowly, he walked back into his room. Yavi yelped at his arrival. She was in the middle of quickly packing, now dressed in a mauve colored wool dress with a loose gray cloak on top. It hid any sign of her pregnancy well.

She stopped to stare at the odd expression on his face. “Von?”

“Tarn wants me to report back after being properly dressed.” He sat on the bed, blinking at the floor. “He’s not going to kill me…”

“Oh, thank the God of Urn.” Yavi threw her arms around him.

“Why?” He croaked. “Why does he keep sparing me?”

“Tarn doesn’t trust anyone the way he trusts you. You have been with him from the beginning.”

The beginning.

Von thought back of the moment on Azurite when he was willing to perish among the dead. But Tarn didn’t let him.

“There is only one penance for your sins. From this day forward, you will serve with your life in payment for what you have taken from me, as the holy law demands. Until that debt is paid.”

Von finally understood then. Tarn never planned to kill him.

There would be no end to this life. Nothing would repay the death of Aisling. There wasn’t anything that would ever equal the loss of a wife.

Von stood and went to the basin placed on the dresser. He didn’t recognize the haggard face looking back at him in the mirror. His sea colored eyes were bloodshot and sunken. His light brown hair fell in a tangled mess around his haggard face. Von could see the man in the reflection was drowning, stuck in an endless cycle of this life.

Elon’s last words echoed in his mind.

His guilt and religious beliefs argued that slavery was what he deserved. Tarn saved his life, so it belonged to him.

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For fifteen years he served. When would it be enough?

Yavi took his hand and led him to the bath behind the screen divider. She turned the knob and hot water poured out of the faucet. He barely registered the unusual commodity. Von let her strip him naked again and he climbed into the bath. She scrubbed him down and brushed his hair before snipping the ends. She took out a blade next and carefully shaved him. Once done, he stepped out, dried off and dressed in clean black clothes. Once more he turned to the mirror as he put on his leather coat. He still appeared tired but his youth was back now that he was clear of facial hair. Yavi stepped next to him and swept his wet hair out of his eyes.

“I’m tired of this life,” he admitted aloud.

“Von.” Yavi stood in front of him. She took the golden ring hanging on his neck and held it up. “What does this mean to you?”

“It means I’m your husband.”

Yavi took out her ring too. “Do you remember the vow you made when you put this on my finger?”

“Of course.”

“Say it.”

Von pulled her to him, whispering the words against her cheek. “‘For as long as I live, I vow my heart is yours. I promise I will be true. I will love you and care for you in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. I will be your hearth, your solace and your home, and I will walk besides you through all hardships that may come. From now and forever.’”

He remembered every word. That had been the best day of his miserable life.

Fresh tears welled in her eyes. “You promised me forever and I mean to hold you to it.” Yavi took his face. “I want to know what happened fifteen years ago. No more secrets. Only the truth.”

Von closed his eyes, and he told her everything. She cried with him as she listened to what he had done. The lives lost because of him. How his pregnant sister had her stomach torn open and was left there for Tarn to find.

Not once did her eyes hold any judgment.

Then she fell still as he told her about what the Seer from Arthal had hissed in his ear.

Yavi looked down at her scarred leg. “I want to hear it. Exactly as she said it.”

He swallowed, the words scorching in his throat, “Only whence she burns will she be free. Her screams will carry in darkness and in ice to haunt thee. They’ll cut through thy ears as the scars on thy back. Breaking and mending that which thee lacks.”

A shudder went through her.

“I served him to pay my debt for the loss of life,” he said softly. “And to prevent the loss of yours.”

Yavi shook her head. “You have more than repaid him. With your life and your will. But you’re a slave no more, Von.” Her voice broke. “I was already burned, and you heard my screams. That divination has come and passed.”

He stared at her gruesome scars. Could it truly be over?

Yavi made him look at her. “Let go of your fear. You’re free. You have always been free. I won’t let you say no to me anymore. We are leaving once and for all.”

Yavi rummaged through one of the bags she had been packing, and took out a small round thing in cloth, opening it for him to see a moldy roll of bread. She ripped it open and out fell a brass slaver’s key. It clattered on the floor between their feet, matching the brass bangles around her ankles.

Von sucked in a breath. “Where did you get that?”

“A gift from Dyna,” Yavi said.

Of course. Von remembered then, she had given Yavi the roll on the day the knights came.

“We’re escaping the next chance we get,” his wife said. “I cannot have a life where every day is a question if I will live. I want every tomorrow with you until we are both old and gray. Together, do you understand?”

Von’s vision blurred as he looked at her. Why would he think he could ever let her leave without him? He had a master…but suddenly the weight of those chains didn’t hold him down. He wanted to spend his life with her. He wanted the freedom of loving his family. Even if he had to fight the fates, it was time he lived for himself now.

“Yes.”

She blinked. “Yes?”

“Yes,” he repeated, his answer coming out like choked laughter. “To the Seven Gates with him. I’m coming with you. I can’t leave you. Why did I ever think I could? I choose you.”

Yavi’s lip trembled, silent tears streaming down her face. “Do you swear it? Don’t lie to me, Von. If you betray me again—”

Von silenced her with a kiss.

He loved Yavi like the night loved the moon. Never would he stop. If the fates weren’t too cruel, if the God of Urn should will it, his wish for freedom would come true. Leaving her wasn’t a possibility. It never was. Losing his family would carve out his soul. Running would bring Tarn’s wrath, but it was worth it. Because he could no longer strangle himself with the shackles he wore for years.

“I swear.” His hand leaning against the wall, he pulled her close, his lips forming the words against hers. “We’re leaving.”

He hated to think it, but the death of the spies gave them a real chance. None of the Raiders had the skills to hunt them. And with the slaver’s key, nothing would keep her locked away.

The final obstacle was Tarn.

“Even if we might die?” she whispered.

“If our only two choices are to die fighting or die in slavery, then I will fight until my very last. No matter what happens, I’m telling you now that I love you. I will follow you anywhere, Yavi. If we fail and these are our last days together, then I will break open every Gate and take on the gods if it means finding you again.”

She laughed wetly through her tears with such joy that for once he allowed himself to feel it, too. He would strive to reach a new live with his wife and child.

“We will plan it properly.” Von kissed Yavi’s belly then her temple. “Hide that key and pack our belongings. We will play our roles until the time is right.”

When he walked out of the room, he exhaled a long breath and straightened his shoulders. Von was ready to after what he wanted now.

May the God of Urn forgive him.