: Chapter 14
I feel different. As I put away my new clothes, getting ready for my first official shift in the bar downstairs, after a few hours’ tuition from Kole, it’s as if I’ve never lived anywhere but Phoenix Falls. Yesterday, the fire, the rally, Johnny… it all feels so very far away. Like it happened in a different lifetime. And, finally, the visions of my past have stopped.
Splashing water on my face in the bathroom, I wonder whether maybe I’m still in shock. Numbing myself to whatever barrel of emotions is going to hit me when it sinks in that I started a fire with nothing but my bare hands.
But I don’t think that’s it.
I think something inside me has changed. Or perhaps it was there all along and now it’s waking up for the first time.
The girl looking back at me in the mirror is a brighter, shinier version of the one who stared at her gray-eyed reflection twenty-four hours ago. Trembling at the thought of Johnny being in the other room. Waiting for him to unleash the fury pent up in his gut.
Maybe this is what happens when you fight back.
Maybe this is what happens when you set yourself free.
Heading for the door, I pause and shrug the cardigan from my shoulders. Rev’s black halter covers exactly what I need it to. But there’s no reason to make myself swelter behind the bar when I don’t need to. My arms have scars, but not the kind that will get me into trouble.
Downstairs, I pass Kole’s office. There’s a window that looks into the hallway. I glance in and see him pacing up and down.
He hasn’t seen me.
I watch him for a moment. While Tanner, Mack, and Luther have been pretty easy to figure out, Kole has me utterly confused.
Tanner couldn’t make it more obvious that he likes me. He’s goofy and flirtatious, and the way he looks at me sends sparks to my stomach.
Mack is suave, mature, the kind of guy who’s flattered a thousand women in his lifetime and knows exactly what to say and how to say it. He’s intrigued by me and wants to help me if he can.
Luther despises me. He made that abundantly clear when he stalked off before breakfast this morning. Clearly, he doesn’t agree with his friends taking in a stray human.
But Kole? He’s a complete enigma.
When I saw him in the street last night, I was drawn to him. Like he was the one I had to be close to. And I still feel it. When I’m near him, something fizzes on the surface of my skin. Like I can never quite be close enough.
Sometimes, I catch him staring at me and it’s like he feels the same. Like he wants to rip my clothes off and ram our bodies together until we become one person.
The rest of the time, though, it’s as if he can barely stand to be near me.
He does everything he can to avoid meeting my eyes and makes sure he’s as far away from me as possible.
When he offered me a job in the bar, I thought I might be able to bring him around. All afternoon, I did my best to be polite, to listen to his tuition, to put him at ease. But it had little effect. By the time six p.m. rolled around and the bar started to get busy, he barely even grunted at me when I asked if it was okay to go freshen up.
Maybe something else is going on. He’s still pacing his office floor. He looks tense, on edge.
I think back to what Tanner said about Kole being a seer. More powerful than Rev. Could he have seen things about me? Could that be why he’s acting the way he is? Because he knows who I am? What I did?
He stops and looks out into the hall. Quickly, I shake my hair so it covers the side of my face, avert my eyes, and hurry back to the bar. By the time he joins me, I’ve served three customers on my own and it’s starting to get busy.
He looks at me. His eyes graze my bare shoulders, then linger on the scar that slices across my upper arm. An old one. From the day Johnny decided he wanted to try playing with knives.
Kole’s jaw twitches. He glances at the clock, then at the customers lining up in front of the bar. Sucking in a deep breath, he says, “You handling this?”
I smile at him and grab a beer from the fridge. “You tell me. Am I doing okay?”
Nodding over at a guy with a shaved head and glasses, Kole sloshes whiskey into a glass, adds ice, and says, “Yes, Nova. You’re doing okay.”Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.
Tanner arrives earlier than he said he would. It’s nine thirty and the Solar Cross has settled into a comfortable rhythm. Although Kole and I aren’t talking to one another, we’ve developed a synchronicity that surprises me. Ducking around one another. Taking orders. Clearing glasses when there’s a quiet moment.
“Wow. Look at you.” Tanner slides onto a stool and looks me up and down. “It’s like you’ve worked here forever. You sure you haven’t done bar work before?”
I flick my hair over my shoulder and lean forward. “What can I get you, sir?”
Tanner blinks at me. He’s biting his lower lip. “Beer.” His voice comes out a little husky, so he clears his throat and repeats himself. “Beer, please. Barmaid.”
Drumming my fingers on the bar, I smile at him. “Coming right up.” But as I turn away, I catch him looking at Kole. They exchange a glance I can’t read, but one I’m pretty certain has something to do with me.
From across the room, someone shouts, “Hey, Kole, turn the TV up! It’s Nico!”
Kole looks at the screen then reaches under the bar for the remote. Instead of turning up the volume, he clicks on the subtitles. Whoever shouted at him grumbles in reply, but Kole ignores them.
“Can’t stand the guy,” he says to Tanner. “Fucking smarmy bastard.”
“I know what you mean.” Tanner sips his beer. “No one is that charitable without some kind of ulterior motive.” Catching me staring, Tanner chuckles and says, “Looks like Nova’s a fan, though. I hear Varlac’s quite a hit with the humans.”
Are you looking at him? While I’m fucking you, you’re thinking about a filthy mage super? Are you a sympathizer? Are you?
Johnny. Fire. My parents. Fire. Sam. Johnny.
I was pouring myself a glass of water, but now I’m frozen to the spot. The visions are back. The water reaches the rim of the glass and spills out onto my hand. It makes me jump, and the movement causes even more to slosh onto my shirt. “Shit.” I put the jug and the glass down on the countertop and rub at the wet patch.
“Nova? You okay?” Tanner puts his hand on mine, but the contact makes me flinch. The confidence I felt a few seconds ago has vanished.
I blink the taunting images away and try to smile. “Oh, fine. Just clumsy. I’ll go change.”
“I can fix that.” Tanner raises his hand. When I frown at him, he grins. “Water mage. One snap of the fingers and you’ll be good as new.”
“No, no. Thank you.” I don’t look at Kole for permission, just turn and say, “I’ll be right back. Just one minute.”
When I reach the hallway, I stop and lean against the wall. It’s cool on my bare back and the sensation helps to slow my breathing.
You’re safe, I tell myself. You’re safe. He can’t hurt you here.
“But what if he can?” I whisper. “What if he survived? He’ll come after you, won’t he?”
I shake my hands at my sides and try to think clearly.
Nico Varlac is always on TV. Online. In magazines. I can’t afford to have a panic attack every time I see his face.
Perhaps if I knew what happened to Johnny after I left… I move away from the wall. I’m heading for Kole’s office. I told them I was going to change, but it’s not a fresh shirt I need; it’s answers.