The Secret Hook-Up

Breakfasts with Addie are my favorite.

Her place. My place. I don’t care which. They’re my favorite.

In the month since our Croaking Creatures date, we’ve spent about half of them together.

The other half, she’s been traveling.

And then there are the days when we’re together, in public, making official appearances at kickball league games and volleyball league sign-ups and softball league award ceremonies.

Getting asked if we’re still Daddie.

Responding with blank stares in the moment and cracking up about it later in private.

This morning, she’s at my place, debating with Paisley about if big dogs or little dogs are better. My niece swung by for free food before class. Addie showed up around one a.m. after a road trip up to DC.

I missed you was all she said before she fell into my bed and passed out cold.

My heart is in a happy place.

“Big guys cannot have little dogs,” Paisley says. “It just looks weird.”

“Some people think it’s adorable.”

“They’re wrong.”

“My new life coach’s boyfriend plays rugby, and he carries his little dog in a sling everywhere they go,” I say as I slide an omelet in front of Paisley. Addie’s already eating hers. She has to be at the field before Paisley has to be at class.

“Life coach, Uncle Dunc?”

“To help me figure out what I want to do when I retire.”

Paisley looks at Addie. Then back at me.

Addie snickers, then shoves more omelet in her mouth. “This is really good, thank you,” she says with her mouth full.

I fucking love this woman.

I still haven’t told her so, but I do.

I love her laugh. I love how bloodthirsty she is when we’re playing Croaking Creatures, whether in the same room or while on the phone before or after one of her games. I love the way she’s letting me in a little more every day.

I love that she’s wearing dresses to work more often before she changes into her uniform, and that the team wins nearly every time she does. I love the way she tears up seven minutes into A League of Their Own.

I love the way she smells. The noises she makes when I’m eating her pussy. The way she feels coming around my cock.

Paisley points her fork at me. “You always said you’d coach hockey when you couldn’t play anymore.”

“So did Nick. So did Zeus. So did Manning. Want me to go on?”

“Nick’s still working for the Thrusters.”

“Nick’s a hobby farmer who needs a part-time day job to keep him busy enough that he doesn’t think to buy an elephant for his hobby farm.”

“Isn’t buying an elephant for a hobby farm illegal?”

“I’m sorry—have you met Nick Murphy?”

Addie giggles.

“You can’t sit around playing Croaking Creatures all day,” Paisley says.

“Actually, I could. They’ve had a good response to my requested upgrades and want to know if I have more ideas.”

“Ooh, I know,” Addie says. “You could be a Croaking Creatures podcaster.”

Paisley sits straighter. “And you could sing your commentary instead of saying it.”

They take turns one-upping each other with increasingly funnier ideas while I start my own omelet. By the time I take the stool next to Addie’s to eat, she’s done, and Paisley’s close.

I’ve lost track of what they’re laughing about, and that’s absolutely fine.

The fact that they’re both here, laughing together, has my heart in its happy place.

For today.

For now.

There’s a part of me still worried that I’ll fuck this up somehow. That I’ll push too far. Too hard. Too fast.

That I’ll push Addie away.

Training camp starts in a few days.

I’m about to get very busy. And I don’t know how that will go.

The Fireballs are sitting right on the edge of the playoffs. Regular season ends about the time I start traveling, but they could play for another month or more after that if they make the postseason. And if they do, odds are pretty high Addie and I will be on opposite travel schedules.

But only for a month or so.

If they make it all the way to the World Series again, she’ll still be done in early November.

She says she’s staying in the city this winter. But come mid-February, she’ll be headed to Florida for spring training for about six weeks.

And then sometime between late April and mid-June, depending on how far the Thrusters go this season, I’ll be done with hockey.

Done done.

I’m ready. Ready for my last season. Ready for the next part of my life.

If we can make it through this next year.

Addie’s phone buzzes against my countertop. She checks it quickly, smiles, and sends a fast message back to whoever pinged her.

“Was that seriously Waverly Sweet?” Paisley whispers.

“She’s a very normal human being,” Addie says.

“I’m sorry, Uncle Dunc, but there’s zero chance this is going to work out between you two,” Paisley says. “You’re cool, but you’re not date people who are friends with Waverly Sweet cool.”

“She’s a very normal human being,” Addie repeats with a laugh. She runs a hand through my hair and kisses my cheek, using her left arm, as it’s gotten stronger and stronger every day. No surprise. If Addie’s told to do physical therapy, Addie does physical therapy. “I promise if I ever break up with you, it won’t be because you’re not cool enough for my friends.”

“If you two get married, would she come to the wedding?” Paisley asks.

I give her the stop talking now look.Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org

We don’t say the M- or W- words in front of Addie.

“You know Luca Rossi?” Addie says to her. “Outfielder for the Fireballs?”

Paisley nods.

“He met his partner when she got jilted at what was her fifth attempt at a wedding.”

“To the same guy?” Paisley asks.

Addie shakes her head. “Five different guys. Five different engagements. After that last one, she tracked Luca down and asked him to teach her how to not fall in love. That…didn’t end exactly the way either one of them thought it would.”

“Five engagements?”

“She writes paranormal romance novels. She likes to say she’s in love with the idea of love.”

“So they’re never getting married because she has a wedding curse?”

Addie laughs. “They’re never getting married. Luca would marry her in a heartbeat, but after planning five weddings, she says it’s more important to prove to your partner that you want them for something other than a big party.”

“I hope he has his legal paperwork in order so she gets his life insurance policy if he dies.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I say. “His life insurance policy?”

“And his will,” she adds. “He better have his will in order. Marriage is dumb in a lot of ways, but there are legal benefits.”

“Who are you?” I ask my niece.

“My friend Audra’s stepdad just died, but he and her mom weren’t legally married, so it’s making everything a nightmare. She might have to quit school because they can’t afford it now since his siblings are claiming they’re the rightful heirs to his assets.”

“How long were they together?” Addie asks.

“Like fifteen years. He was practically the only dad she knew. They never got married because his ex-wife wrecked him so bad. Sort of like how Lena totally wrecked Uncle Duncan.”

I stare at Paisley without comprehending what she’s talking about long enough that she wrinkles her nose. “Your ex-wife?”

Huh.

Once again, no hurt there. “I forgot she existed.”

Addie peers at me.

We haven’t talked much about Lena.

Basically at all.

I know Addie knows I’m divorced, but that’s about it.

“She left me to pursue a career in modeling, and it wrecked me, and then I moved on.” I shrug. “That was…twelve years ago? Fifteen? What year is it again?”

“It was twelve years ago,” Paisley says. “I remember because he hit on my Grade 1 teacher right after it happened, and Mom kept saying your uncle’s heart is hurting and he’s trying to make it better with Ms. Allen’s Band-Aids.”

Addie coughs. “That must’ve been an interesting thing to experience at five.”

“I repeated it in fourth grade when our teacher went through a divorce, and someone explained it to me in middle school terms.”

“Did you really forget your ex-wife exists?” Addie asks me.

“No, but it quit hurting.”

“Just like that?”

“No. I owe my therapist flowers.”

“Therapy only works as hard as you do.” Paisley slides off her stool. “I have to get to class.”

Addie glances at her phone. “Ballpark time for me too.” She switches her attention to me. “What are you doing today?”

“As little as possible.”

She smiles. “Let me know if you want a ticket to the game. Should be gorgeous today.”

I walk both of them out to their cars. Paisley gets a hug and an order to study good.

Addie gets a kiss after Paisley’s left. And I’m well aware that my niece left early to give me a chance to kiss my girlfriend without witnesses. Or so she wouldn’t have to see it.

Addie lingers outside her car, something clearly on her mind.

“What’s up?” I ask her.

“Would you…forget me if this doesn’t work out?” she asks.

“If this doesn’t work out, I’m never dating again.”

She rolls her eyes, a half smile teasing her lips. “Mm-hmm.”

I loop my arms around her waist and settle my hands on her ass. “I spent years looking for someone to replace Lena, and I found plenty of options. And then I met you, and I fucked up, and I spent four more years looking for someone, but this time, I was looking for someone who could measure up to you. Not someone to replace you. And no one measures up to you.”

She blinks, then sucks in a shaky breath. Her pulse flutters in the hollow of her neck.

“Oh,” she whispers softly.

“You excite me. You challenge me. You comfort me. You get me. And you make me want to do bigger and better things, while helping me see that sometimes the bigger and the better things are the little things.” I nuzzle her ear. “And you’re sexy as hell.”

She leans into me and hugs me tight. “You still scare me, but not as much.”

It’s not I love you too.

But I’ll take it.