Chapter 148
"So, where exactly are we headed first?" I ask the group as they move in silence in front of me. Nisha groans in annoyance, picking up her pace, Koda following along behind her like a love struck puppy. "Great, good talk.” I mutter to myself.
"She will come around eventually," Marcos says, popping up on my right. He gives me a gentle smile that makes my cheeks blush and I shake my head, hiding my grin. "I enjoyed spending time with you last night.”
I chuckle and nod. "Yeah, the silence was nice."Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.
His eyes squint slightly and his mouth quirks up at the edges, the light sound of laughter tumbling freely from him like he is unaffected by his past. A pang of jealousy twinges in my chest and I look away, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
"I was thinking more about the nice wrestling match." He winks and I bark out a laugh, giving him a shove as he leans away.
"Way to make it sound less like you getting your ass kicked and more like it was planned." I tease him.
“I mean, call it what you want. I'm happy to do it again whenever you'd like.”
Oh, Marcos is a flirt. A damn good flirt, but for once, it feels nice to be seen for more than a history I had. Either with Tyler or Hayes.
"No relationships in the group." Hayes growls, a glare sharp enough it could puncture even a dragon's hide. My spine tingles as his scent hits my nostrils and I want to gnaw my heart out just to keep it from feeling anything for him.
"Define relationships?" I say with a sarcastic lip twitch. "Because I'm not looking for a new mate, just maybe someone to pass the time until I inevitably die in battle."
It's a lie. I'm not looking for anyone or anything to help me pass the time. But the way Hayes' glare turns annoyed to homicidal is well worth the little lie. A little part of me feeds off seeing the emotions play across his face that he can't control.
“Don't fuck around.” He clarifies, trying to come off as intimidating, but all it does is thrill me all too much that he cares at all.
“What about just fucking? Is that okay?" I ask, sending a wink to Marcos, who clears his throat and scratches the back of his neck.
"Well damn, I wasn't expecting you to be that forward_"
“No. You can not fuck Marcos. Or Koda, or Dean, or Nisha." He says, his voice growing loud but not quite yelling yet.
"What about you then?" Marcos asks, a defiant look in his eyes as he stops and goes toe to toe with Hayes.
Hayes blinks slowly, his shoulders rolling back as he rises to his full height. He stands two inches taller than Marcos before he leans forward, his lips in a sneer.
"If she needs to fuck anyone, she can use her damn fingers and her imagination." He snaps out, but his eyes shift to me and I can see a look there that makes my eyebrows raise and my mouth go dry.
"Interesting." Marcos mutters, taking a step back, a mischievous grin on his lips. "So She is off limits, is that what you are saying?"
"Yes." he bites out before he seems to rear back. "I mean no. Just no sex among the crew."
"Other than Nisha, who can just freely crawl into anyone's tent she pleases?" Marcos challenges.
Bile burns at my throat, the jealousy twisting through my stomach painfully at the thought of Hayes with her.
"It's fine, Marcos." I say, clearing my throat of the acid and hurt. "No sex, fine."
I turn on my heels and walk off, realizing I set myself up for this pain in my chest. Where I aim to anger and annoy Hayes, I only end up causing myself more pain in the long run.
The pain of hating myself for thinking of someone other than Tyler and the pain of hating Hayes for not feeling the bond and the usual self hatred for not being strong enough to forgo any of it.
I catch up to Dean, who looks mildly surprised to see me at his side. Neither of us say anything. Why would we when we have nothing to discuss? But I must admit, the lack of hostility and flirtatious looks is a relief I didn't think I would find.
Marcos storms past us, muttering curses under his breath, and Dean looks at me curiously. I shrug and shake my head, telling him I have no idea what it's about either, and he turns to look back. I follow his gaze, glimpsing an angry-looking Hayes, hands stuffed in his pockets as he looks around.
I look back forward before he has the chance to catch me peeking at him. Dean then lets out a heavy sigh and gives me a sympathetic look before he increases his walking speed.
My eyes grow large in shock, trying
to keep up as he clearly tries to ditch me. Panic rises when it dawns on me that there must have been some silent eye communication between Hayes and Dean to make him take off and look like he wanted to apologize like that.
"Kyra." Hayes says, his voice deep and demanding, causing my body to react in a way that makes my eyes water.
I don't want this pull, this bond. It
feels like I am cheating on Tyler, on our family, that I was too weak to keep together. It takes me further from their memory with every little tug. Every scent, every look pults the line more taut, and it makes it so much harder to be rational I can't be alone with Hayes. I don't want to be.
"What?" I say, refusing to look at him. His eyes burn into the side of my head, daring me to look, but instead, I look in the opposite direction.
"Look at me," He says, his words soft, almost pleading. I turn my head, giving him my best uninterested scowl.
"What do you need, Hayes?" I ask him.
"I need to make sure you understand my order." He says, his lips pressing together tightly, like he has to know I won't misbehave.
"Yes, Hayes. I won't fuck anyone in our crew." I roll my eyes. "So happy to know you think so highly of me."
"You were the one that was discussing it, Kyra. Not me." His voice is accusatory.
"Yep," I say, popping the 'p' just to illustrate my annoyance with him.
"Look," He sighs heavily, dragging his hand through his hair and groaning. "I am sorry for how things ended in our friendship." "Why do you do this?" I ask him, unable to hide the shock I feel so deeply.
"Do what?" he asks, confused.
"Act like a dick and then, for a tiny moment, the old you breaks through. The Hayes that cares and feels something other than anger."
"I guess it's just you," He sighs. "Being around you always made me feel like I could be myself."
"Oh? So you shattered that friendship for what reason?" I say, crossing my arms over my chest as I stop walking, forcing him to look at me.
"You left." He says flatly. I roll my eyes and laugh dryly.
“And how long did it take you to notice that I left?" I ask him. “Or did you forget that the very day after I told you how I felt, you ignored me, no matter how hard I tried to talk to you?"
"You are being dramatic." He scoffs. My eyes grow wide, my mouth falling open in disbelief.
“Oh really? Mister mopey, homicidal ex-beta is going to lecture me on being dramatic?"
"You shouldn't have just left." He says, ignoring my jab.
"Did you even notice?" I ask again, narrowing my eyes. He looks away, guilt coloring the unmarked side of his handsome face. My stomach falls when I realize maybe I don't want to know this answer.
"I noticed." He whispers.
"When?" I ask. This time my voice is softer as I try to keep from breaking. That day, thought him telling me be would never love me, then ignoring me broke my heart. But knowing he didn't even realize I had left until days after I was gone is sout crushing.
"I went to your house on your birthday to apologize. I noticed you stopped trying to talk to me, so I went to check on you and—"
The air in the forest feels as if it's been sucked out like a vacuum seal in space. My birthday?! I left five weeks before my birthday. “Noted." I clip out, unable to voice how much it hurts. Unwilling to admit to him and myself that it took him just over a month to notice I was completely gone. Not only was my love for him one sided, but apparently so was our friendship.
"Hayes!" Nisha calls out, sprinting toward us. "We may have something, a camp for one person and what looks like a nest."